Summary: Cassie reminisces on the aftermath
Warnings: Character death, depression, and all the usual angst that occurs with a character's death.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Author's Note, the first: I basically haven't written anything Stargate-related since I first heard the horrible rumours about Janet's demise almost 2 years ago. My muse was understandably traumatized, as I was. When rumour became fact, it was even harder. But because of my love for this wonderful character and the woman who portrays her, I'm giving the pairing another shot…and hoping that it'll bring my muse back into the fold again. She's been sorely, sorely missed.
Author's Note, the second: The last episode of Stargate SG-1 that I saw was “Heroes, Part 2.” That said, this is extrapolation on what happened to the characters in the interim. Some of it I know to be happening, based on spoilers from other friends who are fans. Some of it I made up, because I could. Don't like it? Deal. I don't like the fact that the most incredible character on the show was killed off for nothing in a damned ratings ploy.
Beta: Lil, Neoma, & of course Shatterpath
by A. Magiluna Stormwriter
I can't believe it's Christmas already. It seems to come earlier and earlier every year, just like you've always said. The streets are filled with idiot drivers who just don't have a damned clue about shopping on the Internet. Uncle Jack is right. The American consumer becomes an utter moron during the holidays. It wasn't like this on Hanka, that's for sure. Sorry, Mom, I know you don't like me swearing like that.
God, but this is hard. I'm stuck here at school until Christmas Eve because of a stupid final. Mom, I really don't want to be here right now. All I want to do is go home, be with Sam…and you.
But that's not going to happen, is it? I'm stuck here at school. Sam's off on some reckless endangerment mission. And you? Your body's rotting away on some godforsaken planet, thanks to the Goa'uld. I wish the bastards were all dead. Every last one of them. They've done nothing but destroy my family. First Hanka. Now Earth. Don't they have anyone that's important to them? Family? Friends? Parents? Something? Don't they understand loss?
But I suppose if they did, they wouldn't be doing this. Or they just don't give a damn.
I think the latter is probably more appropriate, don't you?
But Mom? I really, really wish you were here. It's not the same without you. Did you know my speech at graduation was about you? About your perseverance, your dedication, your strength, your love. You are my hero, Mom. You took me in, raised me as if I was your own flesh and blood. You never gave me special treatment or extreme punishments. Even if I grumbled at the time, you were always fair. And you took care of me, of all of us. You loved me, you loved us all, and it was apparent in everything you did for us.
It's been really hard since you've been gone. General Hammond retired for real. They promoted Uncle Jack to General and he's in charge of the base now. Scary, hunh? He's even got Harriman as his assistant. You know, Chevron Guy? SG-1's pretty much trashed. Teal'c's been helping out Selmak and Bra'tac and all their friends. Uncle Daniel's been busy in his lab, holed up with his translations when the team's not out on some sort of diplomatic or first contact mission. He's actually gotten really involved in trying to find the Furlings and discovering the secrets of the Ancients.
And then there's Sam.
Where do I start, Mom? She's been devastated since you're gone. Doing a lot of 'freelancing' with other teams. SG-3 have practically adopted her as their 'other' team leader. And yeah, they're impressed with her mind and her skills. But mainly? They're trying to keep an eye on her and keep her safe. She's been working herself so hard, Mom. She jumps at every suicide mission she can find. She doesn't eat, she barely sleeps. She's completely thrown herself into her work. Jacob can't even stop her.
And she cries herself to sleep when exhaustion does finally claim her. And if she's lucky, she'll sleep for a couple of hours before the nightmares start. She always wakes up, screaming your name. She always relives your death, even if she won't admit it. The only way she escapes the nightmares is if I happen to hear her and stroke her hair, murmuring that she's safe and that you still love her and need her alive and safe.
You were the one thing she loved in this world more than science. Well, you and me. We were a family. You made sure we were both loved and appreciated. Jacob and Uncle Jack both told me that before you came into her life, she was too driven, too preoccupied with her work. You brought meaning to her life, a sense of belonging and completion. And the Goa'uld took that away. She's a shell of what you fell in love with, of the person I idolized.
I'm scared, Mom. It's like she's trying to kill herself so she can join you.
I didn't want to go off to college and leave her alone. She made me promise to go though, made me promise to get my degree. She blackmailed me, if you want the truth. It was blackmail worthy of even you. She said it'd make you proud if I got my degree. And I've always wanted to make you proud of me.
Okay, Mom, I think I should wrap up this letter.
Mom? Will you do something for me? Will you keep an eye on Sam? Wherever you are? She needs it, much more than I do.
I love you, Mom. And I'll make sure your favorite angel is at the top of the tree again.