Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Author's Notes: Katie kind of requested a new Sam/Janet from me, besides the "Janet's Journal" series, which I'll start soon. So this is what she got. Written at Gatecon and on the way home.
Dedication: To Kat/Ma'at....Because you asked for new Janet/Sam....
I don't understand this. How could I let it happen? I tried so hard not to let her get to me. **sigh** But she has....in a big way.
I still can't believe I've done this. I'm laying here, wrapped in her arms, held so close. I wonder if she fears I'll leave her if she lets go.
Oh god, Sam. What am I going to do with you?
Look at you, Sam. I guess you can't do that, can you? Then I will for you, let you see what I see when I look at Samantha Carter. I see so many sides of you, some that no one else has ever seen. There's the soldier; that stoic, brave, I-must-help-stop-the-Goa'uld-invasion, battle-trained hero whose only thought is for her job. Or the scientist whose passion and enthusiasm for the discoveries surpasses the need for bodily upkeep. Or the daughter, forced to live the lie of her father's death, only for the greater good of so many worlds, so many civilizations; a truly selfless act in and of itself. Or the friend, whose loyalties run far deeper than many would think, who would risk her own life for someone she cared for.
And then there are the sides most people don't ever see. The mother, who cares for and cherishes Cassandra as if she were flesh and blood. The maternal instinct is stronger than you may care to admit, especially when it comes to your family, which includes SG-1. I long for the day when I can see you in the later stages of pregnancy, stomach and prided swelled due to the tiny life growing within you.
And then there's the side that only I ever see. The woman who loves me, who daily risks her career to hold me as I fall asleep in her arms, only to leave me to keep our life together a secret. The woman who continually finds ways to surprise me and deepen my love for her. The woman who manages to sneak into my office and leave little notes and purple roses for me to find later in the day. The woman who arranges for a dozen purple roses to arrive at the house on our anniversary. The woman who never lets me fall asleep without hearing her say "I love you," even if it's a recording because she's off on a mission. The woman who makes the sweetest, most passionately tender love to me any chance she gets. The woman who makes me scream from the most intense, explosive orgasms I've ever had. The woman who always manages to put my needs before her own. The woman who makes me glad I left my husband and accepted who I am.
The woman I love more than life itself.
The woman --
"Yes, sweetheart?" I murmur, nuzzling in closer again.
"Are you okay? I mean, shouldn't you be sleeping? You've had a long day...."
I lean back to gaze into your sleepy, worried blue eyes and smile, gently brushing my fingers through your hair. "I'm fine, Sam. I was just thinking, that's all."
A cry from the other room precludes my answer, and I start to get up, but you won't allow it. "Sam? I need-"
"Stay here. I'll go."
Nodding, I watch you slip from our bed and walk to the next bedroom, easing into your robe as you go. A moment or two later, you return and place the bundle in my arms. I find myself drawn to eyes a shade darker than your own.
"I think she's hungry," you reply to my silent question, sliding under the sheets beside me again.
Shifting slightly, I bring our daughter's lips to my breast, an involuntary sigh escaping my lips as she begins to suckle. "Are you sure Juli's not your daughter?" I tease lightly. "She's got your eyes, your appetite--"
"Your nose, your hair, your lips, your smile. No, Janet, she's definitely your daughter. Small, beautiful, and stubborn as hell to get what she wants, no matter what."
I chuckle softly at that, then accept your gentle kiss before leaning against you. "That stubbornness helped me get you, so it can't be all bad."
"Never ever said it was a bad thing," comes your murmur in my ear as you lightly stroke the red down on the tiny head nestled to my chest. "In fact, it's part of what I found so damned irresistible about you in the first place." I lean into you as you press your lips to my temple, and I feel the shift in your body language before you even say the words. "If I haven't said it yet tonight, thank you for this beautiful little girl. Thank you for wanting to have a child with me, for carrying her for nine months, for letting her be born here in our own bed, and for naming her Juliet Elizabeth after my mother. I love you so much, Janet, and you just filled the last void in my life."
Blinking back tears, but failing miserably, I smiled down at our daughter, then at you. "I love you, too, Sam," I murmur. "You, Cassie, and Juli are all I need to fulfill me. You are my life."
Later, after you've returned Juli to her crib and I've molded my recovering body to yours, exhausted and elated, I find myself once again drawn to thoughts of you. And I realized that my life is full, and it's all thanks to one woman....my woman.
The soldier. The scientist. The daughter. The friend. The mother. The lover. Samantha Jean Carter. My love. My life.
I love you, Sam, always and in all ways.