 | ShatterStorm Productions
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| ShatterStorm Productions
|
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, as much as I wish I did. Cuz if I *did* actually own them, things would be a lot diffferent, and CONTINUITY would be a given.
"Look in my eyes while you're near
Tell me what's happening here
See that I don't want to say good-bye
Our love is frozen in time
I'll be your champion and you will be mine
I will remember
I will remember you.
"Later on
When this fire is an ember
Later on
When the night's not so tender
Given time
Though it's hard to remember darlin'
I will be holding
I'll still be holding to you"
-A. Grant, G. Chapman, K. Thomas, "I Will Remember You"
The soft sound woke Chakotay from his light slumber, as it had every night for nearly a week. He looked back at the wall separating his bedroom from that of his fitfully sleeping captain and friend. "Shh, Kathryn," he murmured, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. "Sleep, Kathryn, it's just a dream." He repeated the words softly until it had quieted on the other side, signaling she'd finally fallen back into deeper slumber. He glanced at the chrono by the bed, saw that they'd have to be up in less than an hour to prepare for their duty shifts. If it killed him, he'd get Kathryn to tell him what these nightmares were that she was having. Neither of them could continue this much longer.
Suddenly, Kathryn bolted upright, crying out in pain. "NO! Don't go! Where are you?"
Chakotay heard the sound, became worried. "Chakotay to Janeway. Is everything alright, Kathryn?"
She jumped at his voice, now fully awake, and stared at the wall behind her head. "What the hell happened?"
"That's what I was going to ask you. I heard you screaming and wanted to make sure everything was okay. Care to talk about it?"
But she was already out of the bed, heading toward the bathroom. "I don't remember what it was about," she replied uneasily, unable to give voice to her fears. "Um, I'm going to take a shower. Are we still on for breakfast this morning before our duty shift? If so, I'll see you there. If not, I'll see you on the bridge, Commander. Janeway out." With that, she ended the transmission and slipped into the bathroom....and out of the conversation.
Chakotay sighed again, running a hand through his hair absently. He stood and went to replicate a cup of double strength ginseng tea to get him going, went about finding a clean uniform, then went to take his shower. He was beyond exhausted, knew instinctively that Kathryn wasn't faring too much better. As he stood under the hot jets, he began to formulate a plan for getting Kathryn to discuss her nightmares.
*********
"I'll be in my Ready Room, Commander," Kathryn said, standing. "I should hope you can handle things while I'm gone?"
Chakotay grinned despite himself at her light, teasing tone. "I don't know, Captain. Paris seems to like to do figure eights when you're not out here to keep an eye on him."
"Hey!" came the hurt reply as Tom turned to face them. "I only do it because Chakotay tells me to," he added, grinning at the two officers. "You have no idea what a thrill seeker he is, Captain. Always wanting me to go on Away Missions with him so I can do stunts in the shuttle and he can throw himself all over the damned thing."
Kathryn's hearty laughter filled the bridge at that thought. Shaking her head, she took in the two men as a mother would her errant sons. "You two behave, you understand me? Don't make me have to revoke your ranks and give them to Harry and Seven."
"Alright!" Harry crowed. "Can I have Chakotay's rank? I always wanted to be a commander."
Kathryn shook her head again, realizing these men had entirely too much time on their hands at the moment. "No, Harry, you get Tom's rank. Seven gets to be my First Officer."
"What?" the three men cried out in unison.
Kathryn fought the smirk growing on her face and began walking toward her office. Just before the doors closed behind her, she looked back at the men and dead panned, "She'd look damned good sitting next to me, don't you think?"
She could hear their stunned laughter as the doors slid shut behind her, then the merriment of only seconds earlier faded from her hooded eyes. She slumped against the bulkhead for a moment before practically dragging her body up the steps to the couch. She sat there, staring out at the stars streaking by, but not seeing them. Tears welled in her eyes as she lay her head on her crossed arms. "Just for a moment," she murmured to herself as her eyes fluttered shut.
*********
"Kathryn?" The voice was soft in her ear, so close she could feel breath against her skin. "Kathryn, wake up."
"Not yet, Chakotay," she mumbled, burrowing her head further into the crook of her arm. "Just a few more minutes."
"Always wanting a few more minutes. You'll never change, will you?"
Delighted laughter filled her ears, forcing her eyes open to stare at its owner. She found herself staring into deep blue eyes, eyes she hadn't gazed into so deeply in over four years. Then the tears began again and she stretched out a shaking hand to touch the face before her. "Jadzia? But how? You're in the Alpha Quadrant."
A tender smile crossed the beloved face, the lips brushing against her palm. "I'm still in the Alpha Quadrant. This is a dream, Kathryn," she said softly. "But it's important. We *need* to talk. Something has happened."
"What? What's happened?" Kathryn asked, then turned her head to an odd noise. She wanted to ignore it, hold tight to Jadzia, but the sound continued until she could ignore it no longer. And then, Jadzia faded from her view, a sad smile on her face.
"Chakotay to Janeway. Captain, are you alright?"
"Yes, Commander," she huffed angrily, then realized her tone guiltily. "I'm sorry. Did you need something?"
"I was just wondering if you'd care to join us for lunch. We're about to head down to the Mess Hall, if you're interested."
Kathryn blinked hard. Had she really been sleeping that long? "I'll meet you all down there in a bit, Commander. Just let me finish up this report. Janeway out." She hated lying like that, but she wasn't about to let them all know what had happened. For the next several moments, she took great pains to erase the puffy redness in her eyes, then made her way to the Mess Hall to share lunch with her senior staff.
*********
After dinner that night, Kathryn stood, picked up her cup of coffee, then moved to the couch, feeling Chakotay following behind her. Once she was settled, she hazarded a glance at him. The concern was evident in his eyes, as it had been all afternoon. Sooner or later, he'd persist in his questioning of her nightmares. Sooner or later, she'd have to just tell him. *Might as well be sooner,* she thought ruefully. *You know damned well he won't give it up, Kathryn.*
Taking a deep breath, she looked up to find him watching her intently. She quirked a brow, attempted a smile. "You've been awfully quiet all day, Chakotay. Something on your mind?" Better to leave it open to his questions.
"Do you want an honest answer to that? Or the tried and true?"
"Honesty is always the best policy," she replied, knowing he'd throw those words back in her face.
And he did just that. "Then perhaps you'd better start practicing what you preach, Kathryn." And without so much as a pause, he launched into his attack. "What are these nightmares you've been having lately? What's with the naps in your Ready Room? And your seemingly volunteered self-isolation? I thought you'd given that up after the Void. What's going on, Kathryn?"
She chewed the inside of her lower lip for a moment, trying to formulate the best answer to give him. And then opted to do what he'd suggested. "You remember when I told you about my past, my relationship with Jadzia Dax?" When he nodded, she continued. "Lately, I've been having nightmares, strange visions, all surrounding her. Today, for example, when you invited me to lunch with the senior staff, you woke me from one of them." Tears welled in her eyes at the memory, forcing her to look down at her hands nervously twisting in her lap. "It was so real, Chakotay," she whispered. "Jadzia was there, in my Ready Room, on the couch next to me. I could hear her voice, see her face, felt her breath on my cheek as she spoke. But when I tried to touch her, I couldn't. She told me we had to talk, that it was important. Then she disappeared as you contacted me." Again a deep breath taken. "That's the strongest I've ever felt her since we left the Alpha Quadrant. I don't know what to do about it."
Chakotay was taken aback by her words, her heartfelt sorrow. He knew the nightmares had plagued her sleep, but didn't realize the extent of her problem. "Kathryn," he began slowly, lifting her chin to gaze into the tearful eyes. "Kathryn, perhaps it's time we took a walk among the spirits again. When was the last time you contacted your spirit guide?"
A rueful chuckle escaped her lips. "I don't know. I don't think my spirit guide would even want to see me anymore. I've been far too negligent in many aspects of our already tenuous relationship." And her cheeks colored darkly, realizing the reality of her words regarding this man before her. "Chakotay, I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Kathryn." His lips curved up in a tentative, fleeting smile. "Why don't we attempt contacting your spirit guide anyway?"
Kathryn nodded, then watched him stand and leave toward his own quarters. A moment or two later, he returned, his medicine bundle in his hands. A bit of trepidation guided her hands as she cleared the low glass table before her couch. Her eyes followed his warm hands as he carefully unwrapped and spread out the supple leather and its contents. And then he was handing her the akoonah. Panic rose in her throat. "You're not going to help me?"
"Would you prefer I do? I don't know Jadzia Dax all that well, so I'm not sure how I'd be able to help you, Kathryn, but I'll join you if you need me to."
Kathryn thought for a moment. "No, I'll do this on my own. Just please don't leave me, okay?"
"Not a chance, Kathryn, not a chance," he replied, gently brushing her cheek with his thumb. He watched as she rearranged the items on the leather to her own satisfaction. Then she picked up the akoonah and began the incantation. He knew she was nervous, but he also knew she needed to do this in order to recover her sense of equilibrium.
Kathryn's eyes were closed as she intoned the ritual words, felt the calm of the spirit world overcome her. When she opened her eyes, she found herself not in the place she'd created for such situations, but in a place she'd never seen before. She looked around in wonder, trying to discern the hiding place of her small guide, or even some sort of marker to tell her where she was.
Kathryn, you've finally come. The voice was soft, youthful in its timbre.
Kathryn turned to see who it was that had spoken to her, for she hadn't recognized the voice. And found herself staring at a young woman, scarcely old enough to wear the Starfleet uniform she was clad in. "Do I know you?"
No, not really, but I know you.
"I'm sorry, but I'm confused," she replied, still staring at the young woman. And then she noticed the spots, far lighter than the ones she'd known so well. "You're Trill?"
A smile broke on the young face. Yes, I am. Very observant of you. But then, her memories of you supported that, too.
"Memories? Of who? I still have no idea who you're talking about."
Why Jadzia, of course. Or have you forgotten her out there in the Delta Quadrant? She never forgot about you.
Fear gripped at Kathryn's heart. "Who are you?" she demanded. "And how do you know Jadzia?"
Heavens, child, but we all know Jadzia. And in a way, we all know you.
This was a far older voice, and Kathryn found herself looking at a much older woman. "And you are?" And then she noticed all of the people surrounding her in this room she was in. "Who are all of you? Where is my spirit guide? And how in the hell do you know Jadzia?"
The young woman stared at Kathryn with a piercing gaze. Did Jadzia never tell you about them? She couldn't have told you about me, she never knew me....until my zhian'tara.
Now it was Kathryn's turn to stare at the young woman. "Your zhian'tara? But how? How could--?" And then reality set in. "NO!" she screamed, backing away. "No, it's not possible! It can't be! She can't be!"
And then the odd room and its occupants vanished from her sight and she found herself in her own quarters. Shaking, she dropped the akoonah from her hands, pushed herself back from the table. Raising her hands to her face, she felt the tears streaking down her cheeks. And then she heard Chakotay's worried voice.
"Kathryn? What's wrong? What happened?"
"Get it away from me," she spat out hoarsely, pointing to the items on the table. "Get it all away from me. I never want to hear another word about spirit guides or Jadzia Dax again."
Now Chakotay was truly worried. "Kathryn, what happened? Talk to me."
But Kathryn had curled into a ball, arms wrapped tightly about herself. Rocking back and forth, she kept mumbling the same words over and over again. "She's not dead. She can't be dead. They're wrong, whoever they are, they're wrong."
Chakotay watched her for a long moment, saw her retreating within herself, protecting herself from whatever it was she'd seen. And he knew, from nearly five years of experience with her, that this was the wrong thing for this woman. She needed to face what she'd seen head-on. And face it she would.
Chakotay took the akoonah, placed it between her hands, then surrounded hers with his own. He began to intone the ritual phrases, intending to pull her in with him. He met her fear-widened eyes, but continued speaking even as she struggled to free herself, shaking her head violently. She was a stubborn woman, granted, but he was equally as stubborn once he'd made a decision. There was no way he was going to allow her to hide from this situation. She could lock him in the brig for the rest of their journey if she chose, but by the spirits she would face this if it killed him.
Even as she struggled, she knew she was no match for Chakotay's strength. When he wanted something, he was unstoppable, tenaciously holding on until he won or until every option was completely exhausted. It was what she relied on him for as her first officer. It was part of what attracted her to him...and part of the reason they could never be together. He was so like Jadzia in that respect. He never gave up unless all chances of success were destroyed. And neither did Jadzia. Then how? Kathryn wondered. Were the odds so stacked against her? Is that why she...? She couldn't bring herself to say it.
Say it, Kathryn came the voice in her head, a hand touching her shoulder. Opening her eyes again, she found herself back in that damned room. Only this time, she recognized faces. Chakotay, of course. And the man standing before her.
"Curzon?" Kathryn stared at the old man, memories and confusion washing over her. "But you're dead. And none of these other people are familiar. And that child had the nerve to tell me of meeting Jadzia in her zhian'tara. What is going on, Old Man? Talk to me."
Curzon chuckled softly, shaking his head. Where are your manners, Kathryn? You can't introduce me to your companion?
Kathryn looked over her shoulder to see Chakotay standing patiently a few metres away. She beckoned him closer. "Chakotay, this is the legendary Curzon Dax. Old Man, this is Chakotay, my first officer onboard Voyager."
"A pleasure, sir," came Chakotay's polite response, extending his hand.
Curzon took it, considered the firm grasp, the dark eyes, the loyalty for Kathryn that was so obvious. Very nice, Kathryn. I always pictured you with that Johnson fellow. But this young man here is different. His spirit is strong, clear. You have done well, young Kathryn.
Kathryn blushed at his words. "Curzon, Chakotay is my first officer, my dearest friend, but nothing more." At Curzon's raised brow of curiosity, she cleared her throat and continued. "Yes, Old Man, I love him, but not that way. He knows this. We've discussed it. I guess....I guess my heart still belongs only to Jadzia. You knew it all those years ago. I'm just starting to realize it." Another deep, ragged breath. "I only wish...."
A gnarled hand reached out to gently touch her cheek, stroke her hair. Kathryn, listen to me. This will be difficult to hear, and you are very stubborn when you don't want to listen, but you must. Young Ezri is right. She met Jadzia during her zhian'tara, just as she met me and the rest of the former hosts of the Dax symbiont.
Tears filled Kathryn's pleading eyes. "No, Curzon," she pleaded. "Tell me it's not true. Jadzia can't be...be.... I can't say it. I won't say it. It's not true, I won't believe it."
Kathryn.... Curzon's voice took on opposing tones at the same time: demanding and tender.
"No, Curzon, I won't believe it. It's not true."
Just like your father and Justin didn't die? Just like the Cardassians never performed those atrocities on you in the prison camps? Kathryn, it's time to be realistic and accept what has happened.
"No! I won't accept it. I need proof, Old Man! I need concrete proof."
Curzon glanced over at Chakotay then. Is she still this stubborn? This obstinate?
Despite the gravity of the moment, Chakotay grinned. "But of course. I don't think she'd be the person she is if she wasn't." And then his eyes glanced sadly at the woman in question.
"Damnit, Old Man! Stop talking about me as if I'm not here. Tell me what's going on! If this is true, and all of you are Dax hosts, then where is Jadzia?"
Right here, Kathryn.
At those three words, Kathryn turned to face the speaker. Her eyes misted over immediately at the sight of Jadzia before her. The dark hair she so loved hung in graceful waves nearly to her waist. The body she knew so well, so intimately, was sheathed in a simple blue dress that brought out the color in her eyes. And those eyes.... Kathryn bit her lip to keep from crying at the emotion in those beautiful blue eyes staring back at her.
"Jadzia?" she barely whispered, unwilling to trust her voice to do any more. The vision in blue moved closer, and all others faded from Kathryn's view, as if they'd never existed. All that mattered now was the woman coming closer. And then she felt the younger woman's arms surround her, pull her closer, and the tears fell in earnest. "Oh gods, Jadzia, is it really you?"
I'm here, Kathryn. I'm right here.
Kathryn pulled back to stare into the deep blue eyes. "Please, Jadzia, tell me he's wrong. Tell me this is just another of the Old Man's tricks to get me to do something. Tell me you're still alive."
Sadness filled Jadzia's eyes, and she took Kathryn's hand gently into her own, guiding her to a bench off to the side. I wish I could, Kathryn, but I can't. What Curzon and Ezri said is true. I wish it was different. And then a smile flitted across her face, her fingers running through Kathryn's hair. You look wonderful, Kathryn. This shorter style truly suits you, even if I miss the length you once had. But then she sobered again. Do you know what it did to me when I learned that Voyager had gone missing? That it had disappeared? I prayed that you'd be found, prayed that we'd hear from you again. And then, when the search was called off, I mourned. Oh gods, did I mourn. And then.... Her voice took on a different tone. And then I started to get on with my life. I knew that's what you would have wanted, what you would have expected. I began seeing someone. Worf. A Klingon. Can you believe it?
A smiled tugged at the corners of Kathryn's mouth. "A Klingon?" A chuckle escaped her lips and her eyes darted to where she could see Curzon deep in conversation with Chakotay. "So all those Klingon battle techniques of Curzon's paid off?"
A delighted laugh escaped Jadzia's lips at that. Oh yes, they did. Worf was -- is a wonderful man, and I loved him dearly. But it never compared to what I felt for you. I'd told him about you. He actually worried that he wouldn't live up to your memory. We got married, Kathryn. We were even discussing children when it...happened.
Kathryn, thrilled to hear about Jadzia's life and happiness, began to pull away from her former lover at those words. But Jadzia's grip was strong, unrelenting. "Let me go, Jadzia," she pleaded softly.
No, Kathryn, you need to hear this. You need to deal with it. I need you to deal with it. Please?
As always before, Kathryn could never deny anything Jadzia asked her. Nodding resignedly, she agreed, but wouldn't look at the younger woman. She couldn't do it. She just couldn't look Jadzia in the eye and hear of her death. It might well completely shatter her fragile resolve. Jadzia's words were soft, but they echoed in Kathryn's ears harshly. She had no idea how she would be able to accept the brutal death of her lover. And then she voiced her concern.
Kathryn, please. Don't dwell on the past, don't dwell on what we had. Open yourself up to love again. Allow someone else into your heart.
"But you own my heart, Jadzia," she protested. "You know that. I don't know that I can go through this sort of thing again. I'd rather be alone than forget you...replace you."
You don't have to. Kathryn, there is no reason for you to either forget or replace me in your heart. I simply ask that you allow someone else in, give to someone else as you so willingly gave to me.
Kathryn stared at her for a long moment, uncertainty clearly on her face. Could she really do as Jadzia asked? She closed her eyes for a moment, chewing her lip. "Jadzia, I.... There is no one else for me. I'm stuck in the Delta Quadrant for the next sixty years with a ship full of people I'm responsible for. How can I even consider looking to one of them romantically? I don't know that I can balance authority and intimacy that way."
Do what you must, but make sure your happiness, your well-being, is being considered. You always forget yourself in your need to provide for everyone else.
"It was always your job to make sure I remembered to provide for myself," Kathryn said softly, honestly.
And I can't do that anymore. You'll just have to learn to do it on your own. Kathryn, you are the captain of an Intrepid class starship, you are responsible for nearly one hundred fifty people on a daily basis. Take some of that responsibility for yourself...aimed at yourself. Be selfish. Be greedy. You've got a great crew, one that can do things for the ship without your constant supervision. Take some time for you.
Kathryn blinked, swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I know you're right, Jadzia. But it's hard. I still miss you terribly."
I did, too. In a way, I always will, even in death. But you are still living, Kathryn, don't give up on life because I'm no longer with you.
Kathryn reached out a hand, cupped Jadzia's cheek, then leaned in to kiss her lips lightly. Pulling back, she gazed deeply into eyes she'd never again see light up in delight. "I love you, Jadzia. I hope you never forgot that."
Never, Kathryn, never. And please never forget how very much I have and always will love you.
"I won't," Kathryn replied thickly, closing her eyes against the tears. Upon opening them, she found herself back in her quarters, hands still tightly gripped by Chakotay's. The tears still fell silently down her cheeks, unimpeded.
"I'm sorry, Kathryn," Chakotay finally said, moving to release her hands.
She shook her head. "Don't leave," she whispered. "Please? I don't think I can be alone right now."
He moved to sit at her side, take her in his arms. They sat like that in silence for quite some time. Chakotay simply held her, stroking her back as she sobbed and tried to come to grips with her experience in the spirit world. He knew better than to push her to speak of what had happened. He'd had enough situations where he'd learned far too much far too quickly when walking among the Sky Fathers and his ancestors.
After several moments of her still silence had passed, he finally spoke, "You're not alone, Kathryn. I'll keep saying it until you realize it's true. And I'm sure Jadzia told you the same several times herself."
This elicited a soft chuckle from Kathryn, despite the overwhelming pain in her heart. "She did. So did Curzon." She hazarded a glance at him. "What did you and the Old Man talk about while I was with Jadzia?"
He chewed the inside of his lower lip for a moment, debating answering her. He knew that not answering her would drive her crazy, he was banking on it to help pull her out of the despair she'd fallen into. And he was rewarded for his presumptions.
"Chakotay, why are you taking so long to answer me? What were you talking about?"
"You. Jadzia. Voyager. I got to see just how much he really cared for the two of you."
"Chakotay, I want to say something about what Curzon said."
"You don't have to."
"Yes, I do. Curzon was always looking out for me and my interests. He sort of adopted me when he was working with me and Ben. I don't want you to think that his comments were espoused by me as well."
He paused a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Kathryn, I know this is going to be difficult for you. I want you to know that I will help in any way I can." He paused again. "As for what Curzon said, you forget that I also heard your response to him." Leaning back, he tilted her head up to gaze into her eyes. "Kathryn, we've had this conversation before. Many times, in fact. You know how I feel for you. I know how you feel for me."
"I know that, but--"
He placed a finger over her lips, silencing her. "But nothing. I would like to think that after all this time you'd know that if we are meant to be together, we will be together. I hope you don't think that because Jadzia's dead I'm going to start pushing you to try for a relationship."
"No, that's not it." She pulled away from him, stood and began pacing. "I don't know what you heard of my conversation with Jadzia," she trailed off, waiting for his reaction. When he shook his head, she smiled. "You know, you and she would have gotten along quite well, Chakotay. She said things to me that you've been saying for five years now."
At that, Chakotay chuckled and moved up to sit on the couch, motioning to the spot next to him. "So she gave you the 'you don't have to be invincible' lecture, too?"
"And how," Kathryn replied, moving to sit by him. She rested a hand on his arm, closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she smiled at him. "Jadzia told me not to give up on myself or love simply because she was gone. She asked me to promise her to go on with my life, to let someone in if the situation arose."
"And did you agree to her promise?"
"I had no choice," she whispered, emotion overwhelming her again. "She looked at me with those big blue eyes, so beautiful, so endearing to me, and I couldn't refuse. It was like her final request before death. As hard as it is, I have to do this...."
"For Jadzia?"
"No, for me. I believe her exact words were to be selfish and greedy for once, to let my fine crew do the jobs I pride them for."
"And she's exactly right, Kathryn. And you know it, too."
Kathryn nodded. "I know she is, and you have been." She paused again. "She told me she'd gotten married about a year before her death, that just prior to her death, she and her husband had been discussing children. She went on with her life, still missed me and loved me, but she went on."
"Married? Who could compete with the great Kathryn Janeway for Jadzia's heart?" The question was sincere, even if the tone was teasing and light.
Kathryn gave him a withering look, then smirked herself at his impish grin. "She married a Klingon named Worf."
"Worf? As in the Worf who served on the Enterprise? The first Klingon to go through the Academy?"
She nodded. "You know him?"
"No, just of him. Quite a formidable man from what I remember." And then his grin widened. "And obviously quite a match for the fiery woman you loved so deeply. I hope she was happy."
"She said she was." Now it was Kathryn's turn to impishly grin and chuckle. "She said Worf was worried he wouldn't be able to stand up to my place in her life and the Federation."
"Obviously he did, or she'd never have married him." He cupped her chin in his hand, brushed her cheek with his thumb. "She sounds like an absolutely fascinating woman, Kathryn, one I would love to have known. And you know that anytime you need to talk, whether it's about Jadzia or anything else, there's only a bulkhead separating us."
"I know. Thank you, Chakotay. You have no idea how precious your offer is to me."
"And you have no idea how frustrating it was for me to hear your nightmares, see you suffering, and then be pushed away every time I tried to help."
"I'm sorry, Chakotay, it's just the way I am." Before she could say anymore, a yawn escaped her.
Chakotay smiled again, leaned over to press his lips to her forehead. "Go get some rest, Kathryn. You need it. I'll be next door if you want to talk when you wake up." When she started to protest, he gave her a mock-stern look. "Don't make me have to spirit walk to find Jadzia and tell her you're already breaking your promises."
The words had the desired effect. Kathryn was on her feet immediately, snapping off a cocky salute to him. "Yes, sir, Commander, sir." And then she relaxed, leaned down to brush her own lips across his. "Thank you, Chakotay, for being the one constant I can rely on out here in the Delta Quadrant."
*********
Once he was sure Kathryn was settled in for the rest she needed, Chakotay returned to his own quarters. He briefly considered a spirit walk of his own, then realized he was too physically and emotionally exhausted to do himself any good in the spirit realm. Instead, he sat at his desk, stared at his terminal for a moment, then spoke softly.
"Computer, display all Federation records pertaining to Worf and Jadzia Dax."
If he was to help Kathryn, as he had been shown so many times to be his destiny, he'd start by knowing these two individuals, one who held a permanently powerful place in her life, and one who it seemed was that woman's confidante, as he was Kathryn's.
